Healthy Still

About a month ago I went to my nurse practitioner and had a physical exam. While that was a relatively benign experience it has had some interesting results. Mostly because she sent me off to have some other tests. The first ones were the easiest.

1. Some blood work - oops my cholesterol is high - Ouch! Don't worry just take some more pills. Okay, part of me is fine with that. Taking pills is easy, but really, shouldn't I be more careful of my diet? I have been really bad lately, eating out a lot and just eating what I feel like not what is necessarily healthy. I'll do better - I'm not really going to be happy with "just take some pills." More Kneaders and less hamburgers and fries. More chicken, less beef, more veggies and fruits, more fiber. Last week I bought some grapes and just kept them on my desk at school and snacked on them all week - it was really great. I bought some more grapes this week and got the wrong kind and just threw them away. Rats!

2. A bone density scan - everything is great, no problems. Someday I'm going to figure out how come I have sore hips and shoulders and sometimes knees. No arthritis yet, just sore joints.

3. A brain MRI - I often wake up with headaches - really bad ones. So this was the first test for that. Everything normal. My brain is not going to explode even though it sometimes feels like it. I guess that is a good thing.

4. A passive sleep test - I wore a pulse oximiter on my finger all night. Results - low oxygen during the night - go see a sleep doctor.

5. I went to see the sleep doctor yesterday. He was very nice and very talkative. I was his last patient of the day and he was just in the mood to visit. Ok, whatever. Before I went in to see him he had me fill out a little questionnaire about how likely I was to fall asleep in certain situations. He said I'm a very sleepy person. Now, I've felt like I was a very tired person, but it isn't something you can really measure very well. Has he now given me permission to be sleepy all the time? He agreed with me, I'm sleepy. Hum.... It is crazy, I take a caffeine pill in the morning to wake up and sometimes I take a sleeping pill at night to go to sleep. It often takes me and hour or more to fall asleep at night. Of course, I can fall asleep during the day without much problem. Last night was particularly bad - 2 1/2 hours to fall asleep with the sleeping pill and I just couldn't wake up this morning. Yuck! How much of that is because he validated that I am a sleepy person? I don't know. Anyway, the results is that Friday night I get to go sleep at a sleep center. The first question is, do I have sleep apnea? Now, I know that Devn has it and has it pretty bad. I suspect my mother had it. Sleep apnea is bad because it is hard on your heart and every other important organ in your body. It tends to cut your life short. Basically as you get older sometimes your trachea and throat collapse when you sleep and cut off your breathing. This wakes you up and you never reach the really important parts of sleep. This can happen even though you don't realize you're waking up. So I'll go in Friday night and they will attach all kinds of wires to me. Really, around my eyes and nose, in my hair, my chest and even my legs and arms. They "say" that I should be able to sleep just fine, we'll see. Then if they decide that I have sleep apnea I get to use a CPAP machine at night. Oh, fun (sarcasm font needed)

6. This one hasn't happened yet, but I'm NOT excited. I get to have a Colonoscopy. Oh, I'm excited for that! (more sarcasm) They say it's not bad, just the prep is bad. Yeah, right. I've heard the prep is REALLY bad. Well, that isn't even scheduled yet. I'm sure it will be an experience.

Really, the results of all of this is that I'm basically healthy. I'm not as young as I used to be and sometimes they just tell me that. I will be glad if they can figure out why I have headaches in the morning and help me to be less of a "sleepy person."

So, there it is. Your mother/grandmother will be around for a long time to come and will live to a good old age. I'm not entirely sure that is good news for you. I'm never going to be able to afford retirement and at some point I won't be able to work any more. YUCK! I really don't want to live to be 90. Please remember that if it ever comes up.

Also, I am including in this post (as I'm sure you've noticed) a picture I had taken of myself in case I decided to apply for an overseas teaching position. I never used it but it is a good picture, so I'm posting it here and you are welcome to do with it what you will.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful daughters! (Yes, that includes Tanya)

I'm afraid I have done my daughters a dis-service. I spent years hating Mother's Day. I felt so inadequate as a parent, especially as a single mother. I would sit in church and listen to people extol the virtues of motherhood and think how poorly I was doing. Ouch! Sometimes I would be "sick" on Mother's Day to avoid all of that. I never really "got into" the whole flower, chocolate, CD, gift thing. It's a nice thought, but really, what's the point. I know the men in the ward want to honor mothers but really....

Motherhood is an amazing thing. When you stand back and look at what women do for their children it is awesome. However, the nitty gritty, daily grind of motherhood can be rough. It is an incredibly difficult job. Morning and night time, all day long, never ending, continuous, hectic, demanding, unrelenting and overwhelming job.

I loved being a stay at home mom, it really was the best job I've ever had. There is a freedom in being your own boss in a sense and you're always involved with the people who are most important to you (and yes, that includes your husband.) I've always felt bad that Scott and Stephanie didn't get as much of that, but it wasn't really my choice, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but being a mom I do. (Yes, that is a really long, run-on sentence.)

Now, from a little more perspective, I can use mother's day to look more at my mother instead of myself. How selfish of me to only look at my inadequacies instead of appreciating my mother.
My mother was unfailingly loving and kind. What a precious gift it is to always know that you are loved. Even though I was 8 years behind the rest of the family, she took great care to let me know that I was not an accident, that I was loved and wanted. She used to tell me stories about how she would set an extra place at the table before I was born. She told me how she just knew their was one more child to come. I took that for granted and only realized later how carefully she was to let me know I was wanted.

I grew up in a wonderful family. A family that loved me and each other. A family strong in the gospel. A family that valued hard work, responsibility, education and that was committed to each other. I didn't know that was unusual until I was Relief Society President. I thought that was the norm. Boy, was I wrong! I know now, that my mother was the one who made all of that possible. My dad is also an amazing man, but he didn't grow up in a stable home. I'm sure he wanted that for his children, but he probably had no idea how to make it happen. My mom had to set the pattern and teach him how to do it. She was the peacemaker, the soother, the quiet love and compassion, the glue that held everything together. What an amazing woman. I always knew that no matter how stupid I was, no matter what dumb thing I had done, my mother would forgive me and she would always love me. That is a great gift! (My father would also forgive me, but he might get upset first. Mother, never, ever yelled.)

In retrospect I must have done something right. You are each incredible people! I'm not sure I deserve much credit for that though. Mostly I just needed to get out of the way and let you be who you've always been. I love watching you be parents! I thank you for the gift of grandchildren! Those who are not yet parents are no less wonderful. I love watching how responsible you are! I love watching you grow as you conquer trials and difficulties. I am continually amazed by your resourcefulness, you talent, and your perseverance. (Yes, Scott, you too!) I am blessed to have each one of you in my life. I love you all very, very much!

I love you all!

Drew, Amy, Scott and Stephanie - I want you to know how proud I am of each of you. I love you and I think of you often. I'm proud of the people you've become and I'm proud of the lives you've chosen! I am frequently amazed at your accomplishments and delighted by your talents. Each of you face challenges that are unique to you and each of you rise to meet those challenges in ways that are incredible! What joy and indescribable happiness you bring to my life.

Tanya, Vaughn, and Mark - I'm so grateful that each of you have come into our lives to enrich and bless us. Most of all, I'm grateful for the care, love and completeness that you have added to my children's lives. You are amazing people whom I delight to get to know. I love each one of you and appreciate you for your unique and amazing qualities. Thank you for blessing my life and for loving my children as you do. I consider each of you my child. We are all sealed together for eternity and you are as much my children as the ones to whom I gave birth.

Tyler, Henry, Zoe and Nate - You are the whipped cream on my desert, the ribbon on the package, the best part of life. Watching you grow and learn, seeing you blossom under the care of your parents, and getting to know the wonderful people that you are is one of the greatest blessings of my life. I also love watching your parents rise to meet the challenges that you pose. What wonderful parents you have!

So this sounds a little sappy, but of all the important things in my life, of all of the things that cause me stress and make me worry, each of you are things that make life worth living. I really do love all you. I pray for you, I think about you, I am amazed by you, and I feel blessed that you are part of my life. Thank you and have a great day!

Running Update

So, as I follow this "Couch Potato to 5 K" program, I've run into a few distractions. (Choir tour being one of them.) The first 2 weeks I ran 3 times a week as I'm supposed to. I was really proud of myself. Two perfect weeks! Then the week of choir tour came along and I only ran once, the next week I was really, really tired so I only ran once. However, this week, I'm on track to get all 3 runs in. All of this means that I'm still on week 2 of the program, but I think it is getting easier.

I haven't mastered this by any means, but at least I'm still going! Yeah for me!

The fast lane!

I love my job, I really do. It's just that I sometimes miss having "me" time. That doesn't mean I get anything great accomplished, I just need some time to myself. It's how I regenerate.

Choir tour was a great success. We had a lot of fun, sang, performed, and played. I came home absolutely exhausted though and my ankles looked like an elephant's. Maybe those compression socks Amy told me about would have helped save them. I took Monday as a sick day and slept and slept. I've never slept for 24 hours before! I needed it.

Tuesday was our Region Festival where I think we did an amazing job, but the judges didn't agree. Oh well!

Wednesday, was easier, I ran errands, had my harp lesson. I don't think I told you all that I bought a lap harp! I love it! It is so fun to play, so intimate to hold the instrument close to you feel the vibrations! Maybe, I'll bring it to Washington with me this summer.



Yesterday, Thursday, we had an assembly and NHS inductions to perform at and held the first part of Acappella auditions. The second part of Acappella auditions are today, Friday, and then students will show up, pretty much for the rest of the school year. You have no idea how much I worry that I won't have enough students for Madrigals or Acappella or my ladies group. Stress, aargh!

Saturday, I might actually be able to relax a little, but I really shouldn't because I have NO clean clothes and I really should go to the temple, and do dishes and vacuum and, and, and.......

Next week looks much calmer. We are finally going to have our spring break and I have great plans to do some "me" things.

In the good news, I did go running yesterday, even though it was very cold. I only did 5 of my 6 intervals because during the 5th my right calf started to hurt, so I decided to baby it a little and stop early. I came home and put some "Icy - Hot" stuff on it and I think that was a good choice. I'll go run again tomorrow. I only got to run once last week because of tour and it will only be twice this week, but at least I'm still going, right?

I love you all! I think of you all the time. Really, I do! I'm so proud of the wonderful people you are! I can't believe that my children are so amazing! WOW!

Flying Squirrels

Last night it was wonderful to get together with family and visit about General Conference. Since both Doug and Devn were there I asked them about the "Flying Squirrel Incident" and got a few more details that I hadn't remembered.


So Doug and his friend, Rex, had gone into the woods and had shot at a nest that turned out to belong to a mother squirrel and her babies. The mother was shot and the boys feeling guilty took the babies home. The squirrels stayed at Rex's house most of the time, where they were allowed to roam around the house. Mostly they climbed onto high perches and then would "fly" down and land on people's heads. Rex's family was going out of town for Christmas and so Doug was given the responsibility to take care of the baby squirrels.

In the meantime, Linda brought her fiance, Stan, to visit the family for Christmas. He knew about the flying squirrels, everyone knew they were around. Mother would not let them wander around the house, she insisted that they were kept contained. However, one night they got out and into the boys room, where Stan was sleeping. One of them climbed up on something high and swooped down in the dark only to land on Stan's face. The room went from quiet sleeping noises to screams and bed tearing apart. I don't imagine he was very happy about this, nor were my parents. Poor guy and he still married my sister. It become a family legend though. For years someone would say "Remember the flying squirrels?" and everyone would laugh.




Devn says there is a second part to this story. He was sleeping in the kitchen in a sleeping bag, since Stan had his bed. They put the squirrels in there in some kind of plastic container with boards and even a brick on the top. Someone decided that the squirrels wouldn't be able to breathe so after they were secured the boards and bricks were moved just a bit so that they could breathe. (I wonder if it was mother, it seems like the kind of well intentioned thing she would do.) Devn also woke up to the flying squirrels, only in this case they didn't swoop on his face or anything, they crawled into his sleeping bag and bit him. He must not have made much noise.

One other part that I remember is that Linda and I were sharing a bedroom. She had gone on a date with Stan and the boys short-sheeted her bed and put ice at the bottom. I was probably only 5 and I knew what they had done. I remember waiting and waiting for her to come home because it was going to be so funny. When she finally came home, I was silent as could be, pretending to sleep so she wouldn't suspect anything. She got ready for bed and got into the bed, only to find the sheets shortened, but she didn't live with my brothers all this time for nothing. She simply let go of the top sheet and kicked it down. (Remember to short sheet a bed you take the top sheet and tuck the bottom half of it into the top of the bed, then you make the bed so the top half of the sheet is folded up and looks just like normal. By letting go of the top half you don't have to remake the bed you just kick it down and then you sleep on top of the sheet.) So she kicked it down and THEN she found out that there was ice at the bottom of the bed. That's when she screamed and I laughed and laughed. I thought it was the funniest thing ever, of course, Linda was not so pleased. Then the boys came running in and she yelled at them a little bit and we all settled down to sleep. The best part for me was that I knew what was going to happen, my brothers trusted me to keep quiet so I got to watch the trap being sprung.

Good times!

Random memories of life in Georgia

We moved from Farmington, Utah to Warner Robins, Georgia when I was 5 years old. My dad was a logistics planner for the Air Force. I didn't know what that was for the longest time, but he would look at a project and figure out what needed to be done to accomplish it and who should do it. (I could use him to help plan my choir program!)

When we first moved to Georgia we rented a house. It was really ugly and had these brownish purple walls. Linda didn't come with us at first, she was finishing a semester at Weber, but I remember when she did come we shared a bedroom and a bed. I remember her telling me that she was engaged to get married and showing me her ring in bed one night.

After a while, probably 4 to 6 weeks, we moved into our house. It wasn't very big, especially compared to the lovely one my dad had built for us in Farmington. I don't think my mother ever like that house, so I'm not sure why they bought it. It had a huge yard, it probably sat on 3/4s of an acre. The house was probably not much bigger than Amy's house now. We had 3 bedrooms, 2 baths (one was off the master bedroom and it was bigger than the one Amy has, but not by a lot) a living room and a kitchen dining room. There were 4 children living there on and off, although Linda and Kurtis only lived there a little bit.

Some random memories of the house include:

Doug, Devn and Kurtis playing jokes on each other. Stuff like things falling off partially opened doors, and short sheeted beds (you take the bottom part of the top sheet and tuck it into the top of the bed then you make the bed like normal and when you go to get in, you can't because your legs don't have any place to go.) ice at the bottom of the bed, locked bedroom doors with booby traps, pajama legs sewn shut and more. I think my dad was also involved in a lot of this. Kurtis was the master though. No one could pull a prank on him, he always, dismantled them without getting caught. When Kurtis got engaged they tried to pull lost of pranks on him, but it didn't work.

We had the most wonderful "Winnie the Pooh" records that I would listen to at bedtime every night. They were read by the man who plays Samantha's Dad in the series "Bewitched." This was long before Disney corrupted the stories.

Devn used to tell the most wonderful bedtime stories. He would make them up and they were awesome!

I remember playing with Doug on our long, long driveway. We would ride bikes (I'm pretty sure some of this was teaching me to ride a bike) and we would play "King of the Mountain" on piles of pine needles that he had to rake from the yard. (These pine needles were about 6 or 8 inches long and would come in little bundles of 2 or 3).

I remember the 3 boys wrapping a package for Daddy for Christmas, it was a pair of cuff links and they put them in a box that was as tall as Kurtis and probably a foot square. They stuffed it with news paper and daddy had to dig through the whole box to find the cuff links. I thought this was hilarious!

I remember learning early on that if I wanted to be in on the jokes I had to keep quiet. It was a great privilege to be told what was going on.

I remember my first piano lessons, playing with the boy across the street, learning to shuffle cards, walking barefoot all summer, even on the pine cones. The family behind us was Catholic and they had little girl who showed me all kinds of things about being Catholic. We had a ditch in the by the street and I remember we were going to dig under the street to the other side of the road. (I think we only ever made it about 8 inches in the Georgia clay) I remember catching almost dead flies and operating on them to help them get better (weird, huh?) I remember learning to roller skate on the street (it had quite a steep hill at the top, then leveled out around my house. I remember walking through back yards and running around playing, climbing trees. I remember getting baptized and practicing in my parents bedroom with my dad. Although I had to wait several weeks to get baptized because my dad was in the stake presidency and we had to wait for a weekend when he was home. In those days, ward conferences were 2 days with 2 general meetings on Saturday and 2 on Sunday. It was a good place to be a kid and a good time. It wasn't nearly as dangerous for kids to wander around as it is now.

I remember that one day I left with my friends and we went to a park that was quite a distance away and I didn't tell anyone where I was going. When I was finally tracked down part of my punishment was to ride home in the car with Doug driving. He was learning to drive and I was terrified of riding in the car with him. Daddy spanked me and I was grounded for the rest of the day. Mother used to spank me sometimes, but it wasn't a big deal. But when daddy spanked it hurt!

I remember that we had a tree in the back yard where they had tied a rope so my brothers could climb up it. One day I climbed to the top of that rope when no one was around. I don't think anyone ever knew that I did that. It was probably a good 20 feet up. When I got to the top it scared me and I climbed down and never did it again.

We had a barbeque in the back corner of our yard and Doug and Devn used to melt lead back there and make balls about the size of marbles. Then they would build towers with the "American Bricks" that we had (precursors to Legos) but they had slanty roof pieces that they would put inside the towers to make a track for the lead balls to roll down. They played with those bricks all the time as well as with Army men.

I remember going to elementary school and I remember when one little black girl came to our school when I was in first grade. She was older than I was, but I remember seeing her in the playground and no one would talk to her because she was black (schools were segregated at that time.) I was too scared to talk to her. She didn't stay at our school very long.

I also remember that our principal had a paddle with holes in it like a peg board. I was scared to death he would use it on me. I would never have broken a rule though, but I knew some kids who did get "paddled."

I remember that the high school kids came and performed "The Fantastics" and that Devn was in it. They did it in the cafeteria. He was also in "The Music Man" in High School, I think he was one of the traveling salesmen and he also might have been part of the quartet in the town.

I remember a lot of scouting activities, my dad was the scout master and I always wanted to go with them. It never seemed fair to me that the boys got to do scouting and the girls didn't. I was a girl scout for a couple of years, but the program was never as good.

I remember my brothers making the most amazing Halloween costumes from stuff around the house. Headless men like Icabod Crane and scary monsters. They were very creative! I also remember them doing "Smother's Brothers" routines for ward parties. We listened to the "Smother's Brothers" records a lot. We also listened to "The Messiah" a lot.

I remember Kurtis playing the first movement of "Moonlight Sonata" a lot and VERY loud.

I remember that when we first moved there we had a maid, because that's what all the officers wives had at the Air Force base and my dad worked for a general so of course we had to have one too. She was a black woman named "Annie" and I thought she was really cool. She would come once or twice a week to do ironing and laundry, I don't know what else. I remember a couple of time she smoked in the house and I kind of liked it. My mother was furious though and pretty soon she stopped coming. I don't think my mother ever liked having a maid anyway, she liked taking care of the house herself. Annie had a very strong southern accent and she and mother had difficulty communicating at times.

I know mother and daddy went to a couple of things at the officers club on base and that mother hated that kind of thing, but they felt they had to. I know there was a cocktail party or two and I remember watching mother dress for those. Years later when I had to go to some of those I understood better why mother hated them so much.

Wow, lots of random memories. It's okay if you got bored. I was going to tell the story of the flying squirrels, but it seemed that I needed to set the stage first. It's coming.....