Pioneers - then and now

 (Yes, there are footnotes to include historical information or comments.  Hopefully without interupting the "flow" of my thoughts.)

 My mother¹ came from a pioneer heritage on both sides of her family.  Her parents were grandchildren of pioneers and yes, grandchildren of polygamists. All of their family lines had either joined the church before the immigration to Utah or shortly afterwards². There were pioneers still alive during my mother's childhood, some of them in her own family. Pioneer Day Celebrations were both bigger and less polished in her childhood.  Every town had their own parade. "Floats" were made by wards, families and primary children.  Town bands would play. And at the end of the parade would march all of the pioneers still living.

In my own childhood I remember being in Pioneer Parades when my family lived in Utah, huge big parades. One time the neighbors made covered wagons out of cardboard boxes that we children marched in for the parade. Often my mother or one of us girls would wear the pioneer dress my mother owned. Pioneers seemed very near to us. Almost all members of the church, especially in Utah had pioneer ancestors.  Outside of Utah families with pioneer ancestry were kind of the "elite" of the church. Not that they were better than others, but they were honored and even deferred to because of their heritage. Most were humble, good members who didn't take advantage of their heritage, but of course there were a few who did.

Anyway, what I am trying to describe is what a big deal it was to have pioneer heritage.

I think I was around 7 or 8³ when I became aware that my father felt left out of the pioneer celebrations. He was the first and at the time, only member of the church in his family⁴.   As I grew I became aware of other members of the church who felt this way.

My mother, being a wise woman, taught us that us that my father was a pioneer, too.

My father⁵ was (I think) the last of 6 children. His parents divorced (which must have been quite a stigma in those days) when he was fairly young. He lived with his mother⁶ and grandmother who may have been a Seventh Day Adventist and for sure was most decidedly anti-Mormon. Her family came from Missouri where Mormon settlers "stole" their land. She had very bitter feelings. When George was 11 his mother died. I believe he lived with his grandmother for a while and then went to live with his dad⁷. Grandpa Cornish was a hard worker who traveled to where ever the jobs were. I know at least once he worked in a mine in Colorado⁸.  I know that daddy and his father were very poor during this time. It was the great depression after all. Once they lived on 1 potato a day for most of a winter. At several different places they built small shacks to live in. These were built out of whatever building materials they could scavenge from deserted buildings or discarded remnants. I believe they stayed in Colorado throughout this time.

My father worked most of this time as well. From the time he was 14 he supported himself. Part of this was because he wanted to graduate from high school and his father moved too often for him to do that. So daddy found a job in Monte Vista Colorado and stayed there until after he graduated. I believe his father was with him some of the time and at least helped him build a place to live. I think he worked on a farm or ranch. I know he rode horses. At some point he worked for mother's Uncle Lou (her favorite Uncle). Here daddy was introduced to the church. He was baptized when he was 19. It was winter at the time and they had to break the ice on the Colorado river to perform the baptism. I don't know how John Cornish felt about his son's baptism or if he was even consulted. Of course, it was through Uncle Lou that Mother and Daddy met.

Obviously, my father was a pioneer in his own way.  He had no family support when he joined the church. He didn't "cross the plains," but he certainly was still helping to settle "the west."

When the new primary song book came out around 1988 it included a song that really spoke to me.

--To Be A Pioneer--
You don't have to push a handcart
Or leave your family dear
Or walk a thousand miles or more
To be a pioneer

You do have to have great courage
And faith to conquer fear
And fight with might for a cause that's right
To be a pioneer.

Really it was around this time, as the church began to actively change to a worldwide church and not a Utah church, and that the church leaders began to talk about the pioneering efforts of new church members.  There are many types of pioneer. This primary song seemed to put these thoughts into words. It particularly touches my heart because of my father.

So when we celebrate pioneer day I often feel bad when we only focus on those who crossed the plains or helped settle Utah.   If I were in charge of a pioneer celebration I would talk about Sarah Miranda Thompson.

She and her brother walked alone across the plains behind the wagons because their mother stayed in Nauvoo with the older children because she didn't want to follow Brigham Young and their father was with the Mormon battalion. They were being taken care of by another family, but children were not watched as closely in those days. These 2 children were walking behind the wagons to collect beads from ant hills⁹. (These beads were traded to the Indians by white settlers and apparently the ants would collect them in their ant hills.) So the children would break the ant hills apart to collect the beads⁹. The children, 8 and 5ish, looked up to find that they couldn't see the wagon train anymore and they had no idea which direction they had come. They knelt and asked Heavenly Father which direction they should go. They received an answer and were able to find the wagons.

There are many, many other great pioneer stories to choose from, but this one is from our family.

Anyway, I would tell a pioneer story and then I would tell my father's story. Then I would talk about how Pres. Uchtdorf's family joined the church. Maybe add another convert story and talk about how we are all pioneers in one way or another. And about how the church is built not just on the faith of the Utah pioneers but on the faith of all our member pioneers.

To me, this is a big deal.  Every member of the church has pioneer ancestry.  I believe that everyone who is the first member of the church in their family is a pioneer.  For some of us this might go back to Palmyra, Kirtland, or Nauvoo.  For others it might go back to Germany after World War II, or to Africa, or to South Carolina.  Each kind of pioneer should be celebrated, remembered and appreciated on Pioneer Day.

¹ Naomi (always pronounced "Naoma") Black

² William Morley Black passed through Utah, or Deseret as it was called, on his way to the California Gold Rush. He never made it that far.

³ Living in Warner Robins, Georgia

⁴ Later a nephew and family joined the church.

⁵ George Oliver Cornish

⁶ Elizabeth Tilden Creason

⁷ John Albert Cornish – John Cornish was close to 90 when he died.  It was before I was born and he died in Doug’s bedroom in our house on Pierpont Avenue, Salt Lake City.

⁸ Once when I was about 11 we stopped at the mine on the way to Utah. Apparently daddy remembered that the miners found a lot of amethysts but that wasn't what they were mining for so they just threw them aside. We stopped to see if any were still lying around. There weren't.

⁹ Eventually, Sarah made a necklace of these beads. It was a cherished family heirloom until it was hidden in a cookie jar when the Mormons were driven out of "old" Mexico by Pancho Villo and his revolutionaries. See my grandmother's book "Strangers On Earth" for more on that story.

Brian John Richardson - Part 1

Father's Day - 2011

It has taken me a long time to get ready to do this. At the time Brian died we were on the point of divorce. Not because of any of the normal reasons, but because of the severity of his depression.

Actually, I believe he was bipolar. But in his case the depression was dominant and when he was depressed he was often angry. We both liked it when he was manic because that was when he got things done and that helped him like himself and he was more fun to be around. I believe he was manic because he slept very little. When he was depressed he slept more and had a hard time getting up. I'm pretty sure he was severely depressed for most of the last 3 years of his life. This got worse and worse until it resulted in his death. I believe he died of a terrible disease. He was every bit as handicapped as if he had been in a wheel chair. But because he had a mental handicap it didn't show and it was impossible to know where the disease ended and his personality began. His disease was often fatal and at the time he died was rarely treatable. I'm not sure Brian would have taken treatment anyway. You must have hope to believe that medication could help, especially if the medication takes weeks to take effect and even then the person taking the medication cannot tell if it makes a difference.

However, after lots of time I think I am ready to talk about the parts of Brian that were not the illness. I know I didn't tell you enough about him when you were growing up. I know that some of the things you remember about him are not the easiest memories because he scared you sometimes and the fear you felt is what caused the memory to be retained. But that was the sickness and not the person. I know that he was no longer able to be a good father in life, but that he has been at your sides through every important experience (and many not so important ones) since he died. I know how much he loves you and I know he watches over you all the time and cares for you in ways he couldn't in life.

So here is my account of your father's life, focusing as much as possible on the man and not the disease.

Brian John Richardson
Dec. 4, 1954 - Jan. 13, 1993

Brian was born in Waltham, Massachusetts. At that time the family lived in a small house in Waltham. His dad, Robert Esplin Richardson worked at Hansen Labs (a government facility on an air force base) through MIT. He was a nuclear physicist and worked on such things as radar tracking, which had the side effect of showing a lot about the migratory habits of birds. Brian's mother, Amy Cornick Richardson was a typical stay at home mom of the 1950s. Brian was the 4th of 6 children.

Bob and Amy had some very challenging years as parents. Their first child, Bert, was very bright. Their second child, David, suffered some severe injuries at birth resulting in physical as well as mental impairment. I understand that the difference between an exceptionally bright child and a very slow, handicapped child was very difficult for Bob and Amy. Then their 3rd child came, a girl named Amy Anne. Amy Anne had hydrocephalus, a disease where the body makes too much cerebro-spinal fluid and has an inadequate ability to drain that fluid out of the head. In the early 50s they really had no good ways to treat this. Amy Anne was in and out of the hospital for most of her short life. She cried a lot because she was in pain from the pressure in her head. She died, sometime around her 2nd birthday. When I married into the family and for a long time after that no one talked about Amy Anne, this frustrated Brian a great deal because he wanted to know about his only sister.

Brian was a bright, active child. I only know a few of his childhood experiences and I can't really place them in any order. I know that early on he fell into the roll of taking care of David. He loved his older brother and was willing to take care of him when others would not. I know that the 5 boys (with the addition of Alan and Jim) were very busy, active boys. Their mother was the primary president for a while and I have heard stories of things that took place while she was at meetings. Once, David was on a swing and Brian walked in front of the swing and David's foot brace hit Brian in the head. Blood and stitches and a scar on his eyebrow. Brian had several scars from stitches. The boys played together as well as can be expected, but accidents happened.

Bob and Amy were very active in the church and had quite a lot to do with the building up of the church in the Boston area. I know that several prominent men came to the are to work on advanced degrees, including L. Tom Perry (who was their home teacher) and Boyd K. Packer (who was in their ward.) I'm sure there were others, but I don't know them all. Many future general authorities came to that area for school at Harvard or MIT. Some came as church leaders. I know the family was involved in building the chapel for the Weston ward. Bob was bishop around 1983, but I don't know the exact dates he served. (If anyone is interested, Danny Ainge the BYU basketball great from the late 1970s came to Boston to play for the Celtics and was in the Weston ward. I thought it was great, I used to watch him play in the Marriott center.)

Brian did well in school and seminary. Weston was a unique town during Brian's growing up years. A newspaper article at the time claimed that there were more Doctor's on any given street in Weston than anywhere else. However, if you had a car accident you weren't going to get much help as they were almost all PhDs not MDs. (Bob had a PhD) Weston was a a suburb where many of the professors at Harvard, MIT and Boston University lived. Also in the area was Wellsley an Ivy League Women's college. (David worked there for years as a janitor) There are other colleges in the area too. So, all of this meant that the public schools in Weston were way above average for the country at the time. Brian had classes that were not typically offered in other places and he excelled for the most part. His parents were very involved in his education (as were the parents of his peers) and even when he lost interest in a class his mom was there to push him on.

All 5 children learned to work hard. The house and yard were large and required a lot of upkeep. Trees had to be taken care of, the pond and garden cared for. Bob was always fixing things, although Brian felt that he should have been taught more about how to care for things. Brian really did know how to fix a lot of things even though he didn't think so. I tell you this more to give you an example of how hard he was on himself. But more important than that was the fact that Brian learned how to work. He knew how to study. He knew the importance of church. His parents taught him well.

Brian's family always tried to do things right. They were people who sought to do things perfectly, but they were hard on themselves when they fell short. This was very hard for Brian. He felt that his family "looked" perfect, but he knew they weren't. Because he felt pressure to "be" perfect, he was very hard on himself when he wasn't. Also, because Bert, Brian and Dad were VERY intelligent the family expectations were high. Brian was one of the smartest people I have ever known. However, he thought that he was dumb. I'm not saying this was his family's fault, but their high expectations became part of his self image and he never felt that he measured up. This later became a large part of his mental issues.

Because Bob worked for MIT, even though he didn't work AT MIT, his children were given scholarships to college. (Things don't work this way anymore, too bad....) Brian could have gotten into MIT as Bert could have, but they both chose to go to BYU. MIT would pay for college until the dollar amount equaled what it would have cost to get a 4 year degree at MIT. What a deal. So Brian never applied for or worried about any scholarships.

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Okay, I've written a lot and I'm out of time. If you guys are lucky, I will include some photos next time. Anyway, here is a start on your father's life.

Spiritual Entitlement

Family, this is something that I have been thinking about for a long time. About 6 years ago I went to Women's Conference at BYU and I ended up in the "wrong" class. It was for couples who struggled with infertility issues. One of the first things the teacher said was "No one who has not experienced this can understand how we feel." I took issue with that and still do. Since then I have seen many articles, talks, even books, usually about infertility where the implication seems to be that "no one else can understand our feelings."

Since I also live a life out of the traditional family pattern, I feel like I have experienced many of the same feelings even though the cause has been different. I had a husband that suffered from severe mental health issues. On the outside, I'm sure our family looked like the traditional family, but it was a family in chaos. We went forward and survived, but that doesn't mean it wasn't very difficult for all of us at times.

I guess I just resent the thought that I can't understand someone Else's struggles just because they are different from mine. I know that there are many single women and many single mothers who feel that married women can't understand them. I disagree. Most of my close friends are married and we understand each other just fine. Their struggles are different from mine, but if I've learned anything from them it is that we are sisters. We have been through many trials together and our differing circumstances have little to do with our friendship.

So, although I have thought about this little essay for years, I haven't written it down before. Read it through and tell me what you think.

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We live in a culture of Entitlement. We feel that we are entitled to a nice home, health insurance, a car, an education, a good career, etc., etc., etc.. In fact we have been warned by our church leaders that an attitude of entitlement is dangerous.

"The worldly aspiration of our day is to get something for nothing. The ancient evil of greed
shows its face in the assertion of entitlement: I am entitled to this or that because of who I
am—a son or a daughter, a citizen, a victim, or a member of some other group. Entitlement is
generally selfish. It demands much, and it gives little or nothing. Its very concept causes us
to seek to elevate ourselves above those around us. This separates us from the divine,
evenhanded standard of reward that when anyone obtains any blessing from God, it is by
obedience to the law on which that blessing is predicated (see D&C 130:21)." Dallin H Oaks,
General Conference address, April 2009.

It may be that we also suffer from an attitude of spiritual entitlement. We feel that we are entitled to a happy marriage, to children, to a traditional family, etc., etc.. So when we are missing one of these blessings we feel that we have been cheated. We think, "surely I am as good, as worthy as (choose a name). Why does (same name) have this blessing when I don't." Or maybe we doubt our own worthiness, our own value because we don't have all of the blessings we believe we should have. After all, didn't we come to this earth to be sealed as families - isn't that one of the most important things we came to do? So why isn't that part of "my" life?

Then we begin to define ourselves by what we don't have. "I've never been married, there is no way these other Relief Society sisters can understand my life. How can I relate to someone whose whole world revolves around her husband and children?" "How can they understand what it's like not to be able to have children?" "How can they understand what it's like to be divorced?" ".....a widow?" "....have a sick and/or dying husband?" and on and on. Satan must rejoice when we allow these things to separate us from each other, keep us from attending church or stop us from praying.

Our lives are not made up of single elements. We each have unique challenges and trials. The hurts and struggles these experiences bring to us are the same. The couple that is unable to have children may feel loneliness, grief at the loss of the ideal family, fear, frustration and isolation. Yet aren't these the same feelings suffered by the sister who has never married? Different causes, but similar feelings and struggles.

We all have challenges, no one is exempt. Or to put it another way, none of us will receive all blessings in this life. The prophets have repeatedly promised that blessings we do not receive in this life will be received in the next life. Elder Neal A Maxwell promised that we will be amazed at the perfection of the design of our challenges. The Lord is in charge. He has a plan for us, a perfect plan that involves the greatest possibility of growth with the least suffering possible. Elder Richard G Scott said, "Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love."

Rather than feel we have been cheated of an "entitled" blessing, let us rejoice in the many great blessings we DO have. Above all, let us all be grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the sure and certain knowledge that our Father in Heaven loves and cares for us!

Sunshine and Shadow

It has been an extremely difficult week! Pain, disaster, frustration, consequences, tears and pouring rain! Enough said.

However, it is important to note that in the midst of this tragic week there have been some beautiful moments of sunshine. So rather than moan and groan about how awful this week has been I'd like to share with you the good things that have happened.

I started an ASL (American Sign Language) class at the U, although it actually meets in Murray, which is also a good thing for me. This is probably one of the funnest classes I've every had. The class is 3 hours long but it doesn't feel like it.

Molly continues to be a source of joy for me. She is such a sweet little dog. It is nice to have someone to come home to, but it is also nice because she doesn't need much. Some fun, a little attention and then she just cuddles up and goes to sleep.

I got a text from Devn yesterday, at just about my lowest point. He said it didn't look like he was going to a stake conference this weekend so he has some free time. Would Scott and I like to go to lunch with him. Now, I'm pretty sure he did this because he wants to spend some time with Scott, whom he hasn't seen for a long time, but I'm pretty sure I'm the one who needs this visit. What a "tender mercy!"

Well, it's Saturday at last. The sun is shining, although I had hot chocolate for breakfast because it is still quite cool. I'm going to a bridal shower for Kristin Johnson (after lunch with Devn) and I get to give her the cool stuff I got for her while at Disneyland.

I think she is really going to like them!





I had time this morning to get caught up on the blogging world. I found a link on the Mormon Mommy blog http://www.mormonmommyblogs.com/ to another creative site http://blogginwithbobbi.blogspot.com/2011/04/free-friday-keep-trying-quote.html where I found this perfect quote.
So I'm putting it up on my bathroom mirror.

I'm going to do my best to look forward and not back and follow the admonition to

"Be of Good Cheer!"

Healthy Still

About a month ago I went to my nurse practitioner and had a physical exam. While that was a relatively benign experience it has had some interesting results. Mostly because she sent me off to have some other tests. The first ones were the easiest.

1. Some blood work - oops my cholesterol is high - Ouch! Don't worry just take some more pills. Okay, part of me is fine with that. Taking pills is easy, but really, shouldn't I be more careful of my diet? I have been really bad lately, eating out a lot and just eating what I feel like not what is necessarily healthy. I'll do better - I'm not really going to be happy with "just take some pills." More Kneaders and less hamburgers and fries. More chicken, less beef, more veggies and fruits, more fiber. Last week I bought some grapes and just kept them on my desk at school and snacked on them all week - it was really great. I bought some more grapes this week and got the wrong kind and just threw them away. Rats!

2. A bone density scan - everything is great, no problems. Someday I'm going to figure out how come I have sore hips and shoulders and sometimes knees. No arthritis yet, just sore joints.

3. A brain MRI - I often wake up with headaches - really bad ones. So this was the first test for that. Everything normal. My brain is not going to explode even though it sometimes feels like it. I guess that is a good thing.

4. A passive sleep test - I wore a pulse oximiter on my finger all night. Results - low oxygen during the night - go see a sleep doctor.

5. I went to see the sleep doctor yesterday. He was very nice and very talkative. I was his last patient of the day and he was just in the mood to visit. Ok, whatever. Before I went in to see him he had me fill out a little questionnaire about how likely I was to fall asleep in certain situations. He said I'm a very sleepy person. Now, I've felt like I was a very tired person, but it isn't something you can really measure very well. Has he now given me permission to be sleepy all the time? He agreed with me, I'm sleepy. Hum.... It is crazy, I take a caffeine pill in the morning to wake up and sometimes I take a sleeping pill at night to go to sleep. It often takes me and hour or more to fall asleep at night. Of course, I can fall asleep during the day without much problem. Last night was particularly bad - 2 1/2 hours to fall asleep with the sleeping pill and I just couldn't wake up this morning. Yuck! How much of that is because he validated that I am a sleepy person? I don't know. Anyway, the results is that Friday night I get to go sleep at a sleep center. The first question is, do I have sleep apnea? Now, I know that Devn has it and has it pretty bad. I suspect my mother had it. Sleep apnea is bad because it is hard on your heart and every other important organ in your body. It tends to cut your life short. Basically as you get older sometimes your trachea and throat collapse when you sleep and cut off your breathing. This wakes you up and you never reach the really important parts of sleep. This can happen even though you don't realize you're waking up. So I'll go in Friday night and they will attach all kinds of wires to me. Really, around my eyes and nose, in my hair, my chest and even my legs and arms. They "say" that I should be able to sleep just fine, we'll see. Then if they decide that I have sleep apnea I get to use a CPAP machine at night. Oh, fun (sarcasm font needed)

6. This one hasn't happened yet, but I'm NOT excited. I get to have a Colonoscopy. Oh, I'm excited for that! (more sarcasm) They say it's not bad, just the prep is bad. Yeah, right. I've heard the prep is REALLY bad. Well, that isn't even scheduled yet. I'm sure it will be an experience.

Really, the results of all of this is that I'm basically healthy. I'm not as young as I used to be and sometimes they just tell me that. I will be glad if they can figure out why I have headaches in the morning and help me to be less of a "sleepy person."

So, there it is. Your mother/grandmother will be around for a long time to come and will live to a good old age. I'm not entirely sure that is good news for you. I'm never going to be able to afford retirement and at some point I won't be able to work any more. YUCK! I really don't want to live to be 90. Please remember that if it ever comes up.

Also, I am including in this post (as I'm sure you've noticed) a picture I had taken of myself in case I decided to apply for an overseas teaching position. I never used it but it is a good picture, so I'm posting it here and you are welcome to do with it what you will.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful daughters! (Yes, that includes Tanya)

I'm afraid I have done my daughters a dis-service. I spent years hating Mother's Day. I felt so inadequate as a parent, especially as a single mother. I would sit in church and listen to people extol the virtues of motherhood and think how poorly I was doing. Ouch! Sometimes I would be "sick" on Mother's Day to avoid all of that. I never really "got into" the whole flower, chocolate, CD, gift thing. It's a nice thought, but really, what's the point. I know the men in the ward want to honor mothers but really....

Motherhood is an amazing thing. When you stand back and look at what women do for their children it is awesome. However, the nitty gritty, daily grind of motherhood can be rough. It is an incredibly difficult job. Morning and night time, all day long, never ending, continuous, hectic, demanding, unrelenting and overwhelming job.

I loved being a stay at home mom, it really was the best job I've ever had. There is a freedom in being your own boss in a sense and you're always involved with the people who are most important to you (and yes, that includes your husband.) I've always felt bad that Scott and Stephanie didn't get as much of that, but it wasn't really my choice, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but being a mom I do. (Yes, that is a really long, run-on sentence.)

Now, from a little more perspective, I can use mother's day to look more at my mother instead of myself. How selfish of me to only look at my inadequacies instead of appreciating my mother.
My mother was unfailingly loving and kind. What a precious gift it is to always know that you are loved. Even though I was 8 years behind the rest of the family, she took great care to let me know that I was not an accident, that I was loved and wanted. She used to tell me stories about how she would set an extra place at the table before I was born. She told me how she just knew their was one more child to come. I took that for granted and only realized later how carefully she was to let me know I was wanted.

I grew up in a wonderful family. A family that loved me and each other. A family strong in the gospel. A family that valued hard work, responsibility, education and that was committed to each other. I didn't know that was unusual until I was Relief Society President. I thought that was the norm. Boy, was I wrong! I know now, that my mother was the one who made all of that possible. My dad is also an amazing man, but he didn't grow up in a stable home. I'm sure he wanted that for his children, but he probably had no idea how to make it happen. My mom had to set the pattern and teach him how to do it. She was the peacemaker, the soother, the quiet love and compassion, the glue that held everything together. What an amazing woman. I always knew that no matter how stupid I was, no matter what dumb thing I had done, my mother would forgive me and she would always love me. That is a great gift! (My father would also forgive me, but he might get upset first. Mother, never, ever yelled.)

In retrospect I must have done something right. You are each incredible people! I'm not sure I deserve much credit for that though. Mostly I just needed to get out of the way and let you be who you've always been. I love watching you be parents! I thank you for the gift of grandchildren! Those who are not yet parents are no less wonderful. I love watching how responsible you are! I love watching you grow as you conquer trials and difficulties. I am continually amazed by your resourcefulness, you talent, and your perseverance. (Yes, Scott, you too!) I am blessed to have each one of you in my life. I love you all very, very much!

I love you all!

Drew, Amy, Scott and Stephanie - I want you to know how proud I am of each of you. I love you and I think of you often. I'm proud of the people you've become and I'm proud of the lives you've chosen! I am frequently amazed at your accomplishments and delighted by your talents. Each of you face challenges that are unique to you and each of you rise to meet those challenges in ways that are incredible! What joy and indescribable happiness you bring to my life.

Tanya, Vaughn, and Mark - I'm so grateful that each of you have come into our lives to enrich and bless us. Most of all, I'm grateful for the care, love and completeness that you have added to my children's lives. You are amazing people whom I delight to get to know. I love each one of you and appreciate you for your unique and amazing qualities. Thank you for blessing my life and for loving my children as you do. I consider each of you my child. We are all sealed together for eternity and you are as much my children as the ones to whom I gave birth.

Tyler, Henry, Zoe and Nate - You are the whipped cream on my desert, the ribbon on the package, the best part of life. Watching you grow and learn, seeing you blossom under the care of your parents, and getting to know the wonderful people that you are is one of the greatest blessings of my life. I also love watching your parents rise to meet the challenges that you pose. What wonderful parents you have!

So this sounds a little sappy, but of all the important things in my life, of all of the things that cause me stress and make me worry, each of you are things that make life worth living. I really do love all you. I pray for you, I think about you, I am amazed by you, and I feel blessed that you are part of my life. Thank you and have a great day!