Summer

I love summer! I have always loved summer. I like the heat, I love the sunshine and I like that I don't have to work during the summer - or at least if I work it is because I choose to, cause I don't get paid for that time.

I remember as a child growing up, mostly in Georgia, that summer was the time when you ran around barefoot all the time. It didn't matter that those asphalt roads got hot or that there were pine cones on the ground. At the beginning of the summer your feet wouldn't like those hot roads or pine cones, but by the end you didn't even notice them anymore. It was time to play outside, make forts, ride bikes, learn silly songs like "Mares eat oats and does (as in female deer) eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?" (It took me a long time to figure out that the kid referred to was a young goat not a human child. I knew I wouldn't eat ivy.) One summer was the summer of bike riding, we rode our bikes everywhere. Another summer we spent long hours roller skating. What ever we did it was great fun and low stress. It was the best! Do kids get this kind of summer any more?



With my own children it seemed like we spent a lot of the summer going from one lesson to another. I wonder if they had enough time to just play and be kids. Did we enjoy those "lazy days" enough? I hope we did. I hope they had time to read books and play with friends and sit in the sun. I hope I didn't make their summers too busy.

Now with all the children gone summers often mean traveling. Now, I want to go see my grandchildren or visit some place exciting, like my trip to Europe this year. But I still want days of sitting in the sun and reading books and taking long walks with my dog. I still want there to be days when I don't HAVE TO DO anything. I wonder if we are so busy these days that we forget to enjoy life. I want to sit on the front porch and watch the neighborhood kids play. I want to play the piano and the guitar and my ukulele. I want to eat popsicles and throw frisbees and play ball. I want summer to be just like I remember it being in my childhood.

Work to Live

My graduate degree is finished. I have learned many things during this time. I have learned about conducting, music history, music theory, performances and increased my musical repertoire. However, some of the things I learned have little to do with the curriculum I was taught. In fact, in some ways these things are much more important than the curriculum. But there is a difference between knowing these things cognitively and putting them into actual practice.

I have learned that I cannot just push through stressful situations until it is over. I used to do that, but now I get sick or worse shingles. I need to learn to listen to my body and be aware of stress as it increases. I think ultimately learning to exercise more regularly will help me deal with stress in a more positive way, but I have yet to put that into practice. I need to make sure that I get enough sleep and that I plan some "down" time into every day.

I have learned that I am an introvert. During this time I was introduced to a book called "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencione. One of the things he advocates is taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test. Introvert vs. Extrovert is one of the 4 different areas. I learned that introverts may enjoy people but they get tired and regain their energy by being alone. This is me. I enjoy people a great deal, but I need time away from almost everyone to recuperate and recharge so that I can go out again and face the world. Time at home with my dog, Molly, is really good for me. It doesn't matter if I cuddle up with her and read a book, or watch TV. I just need this down time.

Along with down time, I've learned that I need time alone with my own thoughts. Even when I come home I tend to "do" things that keep my mind busy. Sometimes I just need to listen to my thoughts and allow the Holy Ghost a time to speak to me.

I have learned that I enjoy sunshine and long walks with my dog(s). I have learned that I enjoy playing with my grandchildren and interestingly enough with my nursery kids who sometimes act as substitutes for the grandchildren who don't live close enough to cuddle frequently.

I have learned that I LOVE playing the piano. When I get so busy with other aspects of music that I don't come home and play the piano for fun, I start to miss it. For years and year I would spend an hour or more every day just playing the piano for fun. When I started teaching music, I stopped playing the piano at home. I was doing so much music, that I didn't feel the need to play the piano any more. But now I have remembered how much I love playing the piano. I love accompanying people, I love (I know this is harsh) playing scales and doing Hanon exercises. I need to play more frequently.

I love the temple. I want to be there more frequently and regularly than I have this past year! There is no place on earth that is more peaceful. When I took tai chi, I learned about packing strength into your bones. I think about this when I am in the temple, only I think about packing peace and serenity and the spirit of the temple into my bones. I visualize packing the feeling of the temple into every pour and every cell of my body so that I am literally armed with power when I leave the building. I love the temple!
I have learned that I need to remember to slow down and enjoy life. I think that after Brian died, I decided that the best way not to be lonely was to keep so busy that I didn't have time to be lonely. Having a father who packed every waking minute of his life gave me a predisposition to this type of living anyway. Now I have learned that I don't want to live this way. I want and need time to enjoy life. I want to smell the flowers and decorate my house, and quilt and crochet and spend time with friends and walk my dog and read a books and take long baths, and spend lots of time at the temple and enjoy life.

I don't know if I can put all of these things into practice, but I'm going to work on it. Probably for the rest of my life. If is time to live. And if I get lonely, I'll learn to live with that too. Maybe, it will even give me the courage to go out and meet some men. Who knows?