Chicago & Inspiration

Almost 3 years ago, I was in the shower thinking and it came to me that I should go to Lacey to get reacquainted with Tyler so that I could be more help to Amy when her new baby was born. It was just one of those crazy things that I just knew I should do. So I did. It worked out well and meant that I got to be there when Henry was born.

A few weeks ago, I got that same kind of feeling about coming to Chicago for the American Choral Directors Conference. I hadn't planned on going, I didn't have anyone to go with and Chicago in march didn't sound particularly appealing. But, suddenly I had that feeling that I should go.

So, here I am, going to this conference and I'm wondering why I had such a feeling. I wish it was something as obvious as Henry's birth, but it isn't. I've attended several concerts and a couple of classes, done a little shopping in the exhibit hall, but nothing earth shaking. However, I think this message is more subtle. This message is all about remembering how much I love music and how much more work I have to do where I am.

I've watched some amazing High School choirs. I think to myself, "how do I get my choirs to this level of musicality?" Can I do it? Do I have what it takes? I don't know. I don't know if I have the energy to put into the program. I don't know if I have the organization. But I think I can go further than I've gone.

I've pondered whether I should change jobs for next year. I've thought about it a lot. There are so many places that would be more fun to live than Utah. I mean, I love Utah in a lot of ways, but it isn't my idea of "the perfect place to live."

I'm a dreamer and I've always enjoyed the opportunities that might lie just around the corner. It would be so cool to live in China or Africa. It would be so much fun to teach at a private school where the music program is actually valued. I want to learn more languages and see more of the world. There are so many cool things to do, why should I stay where I am?

I actually came to a decision last week to stay where I am. I'm not done here yet. There are things that I have started that I need to see through. Program, ideas, that I need to make sure are more stable than they are now. Things that would disappear if I leave. I've got good colleagues, I've got a supportive principal and some supportive parents. I am making a difference in some lives of my students. This isn't the most exciting decision I can make, but I think it is the right one.

So, Chicago was to energize me and to remind me that what I am doing is a good thing. Just a little reminder to keep on going and stay on course. And the conference is a lot of fun, I don't really mind doing things on my own and the weather hasn't been too bad.