Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful daughters! (Yes, that includes Tanya)

I'm afraid I have done my daughters a dis-service. I spent years hating Mother's Day. I felt so inadequate as a parent, especially as a single mother. I would sit in church and listen to people extol the virtues of motherhood and think how poorly I was doing. Ouch! Sometimes I would be "sick" on Mother's Day to avoid all of that. I never really "got into" the whole flower, chocolate, CD, gift thing. It's a nice thought, but really, what's the point. I know the men in the ward want to honor mothers but really....

Motherhood is an amazing thing. When you stand back and look at what women do for their children it is awesome. However, the nitty gritty, daily grind of motherhood can be rough. It is an incredibly difficult job. Morning and night time, all day long, never ending, continuous, hectic, demanding, unrelenting and overwhelming job.

I loved being a stay at home mom, it really was the best job I've ever had. There is a freedom in being your own boss in a sense and you're always involved with the people who are most important to you (and yes, that includes your husband.) I've always felt bad that Scott and Stephanie didn't get as much of that, but it wasn't really my choice, so I shouldn't feel guilty, but being a mom I do. (Yes, that is a really long, run-on sentence.)

Now, from a little more perspective, I can use mother's day to look more at my mother instead of myself. How selfish of me to only look at my inadequacies instead of appreciating my mother.
My mother was unfailingly loving and kind. What a precious gift it is to always know that you are loved. Even though I was 8 years behind the rest of the family, she took great care to let me know that I was not an accident, that I was loved and wanted. She used to tell me stories about how she would set an extra place at the table before I was born. She told me how she just knew their was one more child to come. I took that for granted and only realized later how carefully she was to let me know I was wanted.

I grew up in a wonderful family. A family that loved me and each other. A family strong in the gospel. A family that valued hard work, responsibility, education and that was committed to each other. I didn't know that was unusual until I was Relief Society President. I thought that was the norm. Boy, was I wrong! I know now, that my mother was the one who made all of that possible. My dad is also an amazing man, but he didn't grow up in a stable home. I'm sure he wanted that for his children, but he probably had no idea how to make it happen. My mom had to set the pattern and teach him how to do it. She was the peacemaker, the soother, the quiet love and compassion, the glue that held everything together. What an amazing woman. I always knew that no matter how stupid I was, no matter what dumb thing I had done, my mother would forgive me and she would always love me. That is a great gift! (My father would also forgive me, but he might get upset first. Mother, never, ever yelled.)

In retrospect I must have done something right. You are each incredible people! I'm not sure I deserve much credit for that though. Mostly I just needed to get out of the way and let you be who you've always been. I love watching you be parents! I thank you for the gift of grandchildren! Those who are not yet parents are no less wonderful. I love watching how responsible you are! I love watching you grow as you conquer trials and difficulties. I am continually amazed by your resourcefulness, you talent, and your perseverance. (Yes, Scott, you too!) I am blessed to have each one of you in my life. I love you all very, very much!